I have endometriosis. It is a chronic condition, which means I will always have endometriosis. I will not “get better”. I have good days. I have bad days. I also have very, very bad days and very, very good days. These images tell part of my story.
Yellow is the colour of endometriosis campaigns around the world. A small yellow bead features in every image of the Endo Life project.
ENDO LIFE 01
Yellow Beads
Yellow is the colour of endometriosis campaigns around the world.
ENDO LIFE 02
ONE IN TEN
An estimated one in ten women have endometriosis.
ENDO LIFE 03
SORRY
I spend so much time feeling bad about feeling bad – experiencing guilt for being unwell and for not getting “better” that I only ever share part of my story of what is going on with others.
ENDO LIFE 04
SHATTERED
Sometimes I feel like my body is being torn apart from the inside. Sometimes I feel like my mind is on the point of shattering.
ENDO LIFE 05
UP and DOWN
Reminder to self, life without the ups and downs is not life. The trick is to enjoy the good times and to have the courage to get through the bad ones.
ENDO LIFE 06
OFF BALANCE
Off-balance (adjective or adverb). 1. Not well proportioned. 2. Not standing, sitting, or resting in normal physical equilibrium. 3a. Upset from or in a state of being upset by confusion: Upsetting. 3b. Into a state of surprise from the unexpected.
ENDO LIFE 07
ALL I CAN SEE
Sometimes endo is a small part of my life. Sometimes it is all I can see.
ENDO LIFE 08
SO MUCH MORE
Living with endometriosis is about more that feeling a pain in my pelvic area.
ENDO LIFE 09
Tired
I am tired, and sore, and so very, very tired of being sore.
Tired is not feeling sleepy because I stayed up too late. Tired is a bone deep weariness from day after day after day of pain. Tired is getting little or no rest from nights of sleep broken by pain or doped up on painkillers that keep me hazy well into the next day. Tired is having a body that has forgotten what it is to release and relax because it is always (even in sleep) held tense and tight, guarding against the next inevitable spasm of sharp, stabbing pain. Tired is having no position, not standing, or sitting, or lying down, that gives respite from the pain. Tired is having nothing that stops the pain – not medication, not TENS, not heat packs, not medical treatment – only things that help a little bit, briefly. Tired is screaming and crying inside, while smiling outside, because you know from experience that doing it out loud doesn’t actually help. Tired is doing this every single day with no belief, although there is still hope, that it will ever end.
ENDO LIFE 10
Pain is a thief
Pain is a thief.
It steals my focus, my sleep, my words, my ability to think clearly, my energy, my plans, my movements, my ability to relax, my love of food, my emotional control.
©️ Pavlina Matt. This work may not be copied or distributed in any form, medium ,or format without the written permission of the artist.
shy fox photo 